Happy Saturday to you all!
So, how do we feel about yesterday? I know it was a long one. Did anyone discover a moment or an area of your life where you are living in a negative context? When you are living in that context, you start to see how it’s sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you live in that context, the more that context becomes real. Because we also really really really like to be right (we underestimate how important this is to us, seriously…egos), we are good at proving ourselves right, even if what we are proving is negative or not what we want. Sometimes, we’d rather prove ourselves right about the situation being awful, than actually do what it takes to create a positive situation. Uuf.
I had this happen recently, with auditioning (dance auditions). For the past 6 months or so I’ve been really frustrated with auditioning. I’ve been uncertain if I should even be doing it, and when I get there and see the other 300 girls that are just as good as me, pretty as me, strong as me, I get discouraged. Like what’s the point? I get frustrated with the fact that an audition is me essentially asking the casting director or choreographer if I’m good enough. And even though I’ve gotten good at auditioning and not taking things personally, because this not god enough stuff has been a tough spot for me for so long, it was getting really irritating. And that was my context. Something like, “this audition is pointless, why does it even matter, who cares what these people think of my dancing” etc. (So of course, every audition felt pointless! I got to be “right” about it, and truthfully I was really only there for fear if I didn’t go that meant I wasn’t trying hard enough, or that my agents would be upset, or something like that.)
Last week I shared with you that I had a big step in releasing my need to be good enough, and this week I had an audition. My context totally flipped. I was now stepping into a room that I chose to be in from faith. Not necessarily from faith that I will book it, but from faith that this audition was right for me, and if I didn’t get it, so be it. My context was now filled with possibility “I get to see my friends, perform this dance that is fun and do what I do well, and what I don’t do well - oh well!” At one point, we were doing a style that I am not particularly good at, and I looked around at other people who were, and instead of feeling bad about myself I just soaked up what they were doing as best I could, and performed it as best I could.
What can you do to get yourself out of that self-fulfilling prophecy? Where do you see that you would rather be “right” than actually create the environment you want?