DAY SEVENTEEN! 30 Days of Empowering Choice

Good morning and Happy Thursday :)

Thank you for your feedback yesterday! I am excited to be back home, and back to work. As much as I love a new pace, travel, and connection with new people - man I love my dog, and my house, and my candle, and my schedule. hehe.

So during my trip, one night a couple of us were having a late night talk about relationships (monogamous and otherwise), and about what it takes to actually communicate honestly, not only with each other, but with yourself. As you guys can tell, this is my favorite topic, so the conversation was fun, a little serious and tense at times, and eye opening to all of us (I hope). 

At one point, one of the women, who -without sharing her whole story- has recently gone through some really shitty circumstances with a not so nice man, spoke up and said, “but I don’t want to accept that reality!” We were talking about getting real with what is actually going on, both with you and your partner, and accepting what is actually so. This is the toughest part because that is such a normal reaction - “but I don’t accept that!” But here’s the thing - that is the golden moment! If you see a reality, and you do not want to accept it (as in, it is not okay with you), then you now know you need to make a change, whether that means, walk away from that man, or encourage therapy, etc. But instead what we tend to do, is to not accept that it’s real, (subtly) deny it, and pretend like it can change or that it doesn’t exist. And the problem is, we see this as powerful, or strong. 

To accept something really ugly, you have to get really uncomfortable. But the good news is - that is your gateway to freedom. I am now reading “Rising Strong” by Brene Brown, and this morning in my reading she spoke about the “reckoning”, which in navigation terms means calculating where you are. So she writes about reckoning being an essential part of emotional freedom as well. Be willing to see where you actually are, not to stay there or become complacent to it, but to free yourself from it! If we were navigating the ocean, and we didn’t want to accept how far we were from the shore, would that get us there any faster? No, it would give us the delusion of being closer than we were, which would probably create worry, tension, and perhaps sabotaging actually getting back safely. Instead, see the reality of where you are, and create a proper plan or make a decision based on that truth. 

Not accepting where you are, is trying to force a different reality on yourself, and often creates suffering. Accepting where you are is not complacency, and in fact, if you find that you don’t like where you, acceptance gives you the power to create a reality that you do like. 

Empowering choice begins there. Get real ;)