So, I was going to write about something else today, but this morning a dear friend and I were having a conversation about the switch between acting from faith, to acting from fear; or in other terms, acting authentically/living the moment, to trying to control the situation. Often it’s SUPER subtle. She was even sharing with me that when she caught that moment, she was so surprised that it even happened.
So I have a really silly example for you! When I was with family for Thanksgiving I brought my male dog, Dojo, to the house, where there were other dogs, one of which was a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, female. My dog happens to be a real boy: he’s rambunctious, excited, and literally excited (red lipstick if you know what I mean) all the time. The owner of the king charles puppy was worried that Dojo was bothering her - following her around, being hyper when she was being shy, etc. So I started watching their behavior. Little King Charles was flirting with Dojo! She would come up to him, poke him, then turn around, stick out her butt, walk away and hair flip turn around to look back at him. Literally. No exaggeration. It was adorable.
Now, this is an example of a dog, so they are obviously not working on faith versus fear haha. But! Us humans do the same thing, right? (Note that the guy version looks a little different, but is the same intention). And what is our intention when we do something like that? Well, it’s essentially to control the situation. It’s to get the other person to do something. And while this is normal, obviously natural, and necessary, it can also become a fear driven motive. Afraid of being alone, afraid of not getting noticed, afraid of not being pretty enough or tough enough, the list goes on.
So our job, if we are on a mission to live an authentic/conscious/choice-based life, is to become aware of the switch. Become aware of the change between simply having a conversation, and hair tossing to get the man’s attention. The subtle change between deeply connecting to someone, and telling a story for their approval. And to be clear, it’s not that flirting is a bad thing. (I actually have various friends that study pick-up artistry and I learn a lot from that mentality haha. Learning about how to get what you want out of a situation is part of life, business, love, etc.). However, I believe, with a lot of power comes a lot of responsibility. Meaning, if I am going to flirt to get what I want, I better be aware that I’m doing it. So that I don’t abuse it, or abuse them accidentally, or manipulate the situation so much that we can no longer be ourselves. And of course, by doing that - it’s no longer based on fear. I’ve switched the context.
Thoughts? Make sense? I’d love to hear your “switch” moments, if you can catch ‘em. ;)
Have a lovely weekend. Flirt away! hehe