Good morning and happy Monday :)
So this week, we will do a little work/talking about friends/network and how that plays into this stuff. We might not get very far into this, but this is a huge one.
Two things I’ll point out today:
- When we make steps to grow, and to change our awareness and the way we think, we start to shift who we are being around other people. Often this subtly creates a push back with friends, coworkers, family - people who know you to be a certain way. In general, people would rather see you as who they know you to be, than to watch you change and shift, and actually be along for the process. I find that in these instances, it helps to communicate a little bit of what you are going through, even to work acquaintances at times, because this at least brings awareness to the fact that you might be a little different, but it doesn’t mean anything about them (we don’t want people getting offended when you made an empowering choice, just because they took it personally….it happens!).
- Often our friends, even and especially our close friends, are our biggest enablers. And what that means is they are the first to take sides with your fears. They are the first to say “he’s an asshole” or “don’t quit your job!” or “that will never work”. And it’s because they love you. They want you to be safe. They don’t want people or circumstances to hurt you. But its important not to let them squash your growth. This one can be hard to spot sometimes because of how much we trust our friends, but in general, in a productive relationship, the other person doesn’t need to give their opinion about your life, but rather listen, try to understand, and support you through it. If you are getting lots of defensiveness and argument back, it’s definitely worth looking at what you really want, and if they are supporting your growth, or enabling your fears.
Take a look at the conversations you have today. Notice the ones that uplift you or inspire you. Notice the ones that make you feel comfortable, or even stuck.