How did yesterday go? Did we see the silly things we do?
What’s funny is yesterday, I bumped right up against my fear. I was teaching a yoga class, subbing for my mentor with a few of the students that I usually take class with, and I got in my head making assumptions about what the students were thinking: that I’m not as good as my mentor, and that I offer no value to them. And all of the sudden I was stuck in this cycle - I knew I was acting from fear, and yet I couldn’t stop it. I saw the words flying out of my mouth as if they weren’t mine, and yet I couldn’t step into my own. And it really threw me off for a period of the day. Not because I think the class was particularly bad or anything, but because I was so upset with myself for not teaching the way I know I can, for not teaching from faith instead fear.
I don’t know about you guys - but this is what I do. When I feel not good enough, I make everything about that: me not being good enough (at least in my head!). And now, because of my fear, a yoga class that should be FOR my students, is now about me feeling good about myself. And no shame in that, because we are human and we have egos, but rather, I get to again look at it and be like “how silly!”. How silly that I made this spiritual, individual practice about my fragile ego :-P.
So the point is, how do we switch it? When that happens, or perhaps when we anticipate the fear coming on, how do act from faith instead?
I’ll come back to that tomorrow :). In the meantime, look at your own tactics. Notice when you are able to catch it, and when you aren’t. And really acknowledge yourself for the times you do! To me it’s not so much an acknowledgement of conquering fear, more an acknowledgement of not letting fear RULE you. Fear is always gonna be around, we might as well accept that. But the ability to choose regardless of what fear says? That’s pretty freakin badass.