Week one done!
So, ok, we’ve talked a lot about possible motives, and I hope you’re starting to see them. What I find to be the hardest part, is to get past the muck of lies we tell ourselves to make ourselves feel better, to really see what’s going on. We can rationalize any decision all day, but is it really truthful? And if we are rationalizing it, are we even at peace with it? Probably not.
One of the tricks I like to do is to look at your resistance to each side of the decision. Here’s an example that’s been presented to me a few times recently: perhaps you want to leave your job, but you aren’t sure it’s the right decision. So, look at your options and notice: what is your resistance to each? What are you resisting about staying at your job? Is it that you hate your boss, or that you’ve realized your values no longer match the company? Or perhaps it’s that you are scared of being stuck there your whole life and never changing/leaving? And on the flip, what is your resistance to leaving your job? Is it that you feel unfinished at the job, or that you have committed to a project and you don’t want to leave? Or perhaps it’s that you are afraid of not getting another job?
Be as honest as possible. Notice that in that example I just wrote, it’s also possible that ALL of those things are true, but look at what is really the instigator, what is the real culprit. From this angle, it tends to be easier to spot the fear. “I’m resisting leaving because I’m scared” - boom. At that point, it’s a little easier to see what’s authentic for you, and make an informed decision. Often, once you see it, the answer will become super clear for you, and almost happen naturally from there. Sometimes, just seeing the fear will remove its hold on you.
*This is not always the case, and when it’s not, keep in mind that the answer then might not always be to push through the fear. Often, it IS to not let your fear rule you, but that doesn’t always mean do the scariest option. We will keep going through options and examples to further clarify :).
Have a beautiful Saturday of weeding through some of the muck, and continuing to free yourself!