2 years ago I felt the pull to move to the west coast of Mexico...

2 years ago I felt the pull to move to the west coast of Mexico

There were some pieces of fantasy in it at first like

Wow I can just live the resort life
Permavacationer here I come
Fancy Instagram photos on the beach coming soon

But mostly
When I checked in with it
All I felt
Was my bare feet on the dirt roads
And the salt water running over my face, pulling back my hair

The way I described it initially was
I want to be in the ocean
Every
Single
Day

I just wanted to held by mama
To be rocked by her
Cradled by her
Caressed by her

And truthfully I had no idea what it would look like
Or if it’d even be possible

And I had no idea why Mexico
But it was

And for a while
I kept looking at places and feeling little hints of
“Ooo maybe that’s it”
I felt my radar getting closer and closer

Months ago I was sure I was going to San Pancho
And yet when I went to plan it
It just wasn’t right

A few months ago I got the hit that it was time
I signed up for @karlapalomino__ ‘s LOBA retreat just outside of Mexico City
And felt the city calling me to begin my journey there

I thought maybe I’d spend a few months in the city and then make my way to the beach
I was also feeling a little hopeless about the beaches I wanted to go to because I had heard wifi was terrible
So a part of me had given up and thought maybe I’m just supposed to stay in the city?

And then one day
A new friend @star_siren_astrology,
A guest of the retreat,
Posted that their beautiful space was open for rent…

NOW!

On the west coast of Mexico
In a small town
With wifi
(And many added bonuses like a panoramic ocean view, a private dance studio, and more)

As soon as I saw the post I felt it
Uh oh
That’s for me
I’m going there

And what’s interesting is a year back
I witnessed this space through @karlapalomino__’s Instagram stories and I had this feeling that I was going there
But I wrote it off because
How could I be going to the house of someone I don’t know?

And now here I am
And I can’t even explain how precisely it matches the way the calling felt to me
2 years ago

The dirt road under my bare feet
The salt water caressing my skin
The colors
The textures
The smells
The sounds
The way I feel when I speak to people here
Dancing on the beach at sunset
Letting Dojo run free and hang with the neighborhood dogs
Even down to the discomfort with the bugs
And messing up my Spanish

It’s not the things I “imagined”
Or the things I thought it would be
In fact
My mind often said “no, that can’t be it” or “i don’t want that” to many of these feelings

And yet
Here they are

Exact.

I am a witness to this process
I didn’t “manifest” this
Or make it happen with my will

It watched it unfold
I opened to the pull inside of me
Little by little
And watched as the universe dropped it in my lap
And the pull
The desire
The calling
The NEED

Was met exactly.
Down to every detail.

Oh great mama
Wow
Thank you for calling to me
And speaking through me

Mother of the water
I am home.