NO MORE DISCIPLINE

I don't believe in discipline.

...

Yep, that's what I mean.

I do not believe in it.
I don't think it works, not in a whole, healthy, meaningful way.
Let me explain.

We tend to think that in order to succeed we must exert immense amounts of will power. And our society is built on that.
Do more.
Push harder.
Improve and try again.
Never give up.

And I get that.

If you know me - you know I was also built on that. Years of gymnastics were not attained by listening to my body, or heart - they were based in discipline.
Desire to control.
Desire to be better.
The need to prove myself.

But here in lies the problem.
Discipline to do better, inevitably comes with the assumption that things are not OK as they are. That something is WRONG, or not good enough as it is, and a PUSH to fix it, is required.

I felt this concept years ago, when I decided to stop dieting, and accept my body. And low and behold, my body transformed into what I had always wanted. But since then, I've had trouble embodying it.

I mean, how can you get anything done without discipline?
How will you ever be the person you want to be, without will power?
How will you learn, and grow, and transform without push?

Trust me, I get the resistance. I've been in it for 7 years, and honestly - I probably still am.

But here's the thing. Pushing ourselves to BE or DO something that isn't actually TRUE for us, or authentic in the moment, sends our body the message that we are not to be trusted. It tells us that we cannot just live and be and do, for if we did, we would not be enough. We wouldn't "make it", in whatever sense. And when we send our body that message over and over and over, a handful of things start to get off course.

We might get sick.
We might yo-yo (as in, after the discipline wears off we swing back to the complete opposite).
We might hate ourselves.
We might never feel happy or satisfied.
We might go our whole lives without actually appreciating our body.
We might never forgive our parents, exes, friends.
We might always and only be living for the hopeful future, and never in the present.
We might have a hard time relaxing without drugs and alcohol.
We might find it difficult to love and be loved.
We might spend most of our time beating ourselves up.
We might be in physical pain a lot.
We might not be able to orgasm, or not fully.
We might not be able to set boundaries.
We might punish ourselves...maybe constantly.

The list goes on.

The thing is - when discipline and will power is the only way to get things done, or to move forward, we short circuit our ability to connect to ourselves. To trust ourselves. To LOVE ourselves. To be present.

Discipline is about obeying rules that are outside of yourself. It is about punishing yourself when you fail. It is about adhering to some external idea of what's right, or better, or for you.

And honestly - that's BULLSHIT.

No one actually knows what's best for you, except for you. But you will never know what's best for you, if you keep listening to someone else's rules, and forcing yourself to abide by them.

I'm not saying that there aren't general good things to do, that can loosely apply to all people. Nor that you should never ever push yourself to be a little uncomfortable.

But I am saying that your rules HAVE to be your own. They have to be FROM YOUR SYSTEM, your body, in order to be true for you.


I've found, over and over again, with my clients, friends, and myself - that every time we go to discipline, the immediate results are shame, fear, and self-hate.

Do you find yourself getting mad at yourself when you eat too much?
Are you embarrassed when you sleep in a little too late? Or when you hang out with the guy that your friend said was bad for you?
Do you beat yourself up when you feel yourself getting jealous, or angry, when you know you "shouldn't" be feeling something?
Do you find yourself telling yourself what you "should" and "shouldn't" be doing, often?
Do you get stressed by not getting your to-do list done, or not showing up as the best version of yourself in some way?

I feel you.

So, if there's no discipline, how do we move forward?

Now, bear with me because, this is partly semantics, and feel free to look at this however you'd like. But here's the deal.
You are human. Your body is designed for survival, and expansion. Your system wants HEALING, healthiness, wholeness.

I think sometimes we think, if I stopped disciplining myself, I would just sit on the couch, eat pizza, watch TV, and never do anything ever. (Or for some of you, it may be partying constantly, or something like that).

But the truth is, your body, doesn't want to just sit around. It wants REST (probably more than you think it wants), but it doesn't want to do nothing.
It wants to make an impact.
It wants to be seen.
It wants to be active.
It wants joy and love and connection.
It wants to THRIVE.

So the key is, tapping into the body's KNOWING of how to do this, and using that to move forward.

And THIS is my work.
As I'm sure many of you still reading are feeling - that doesn't necessarily come naturally. Particularly if you were raised in the US, or any capitalist society for that matter. Particularly if you have a DESIRE for growth, this is going to be challenging, and confusing.

But I'll also offer, that if you have a DESIRE for growth, then my guess is you want to grow so that you can be WHOLE, and fulfilled, and impactful, and be a good human, and be strong and powerful.

This work has you not just TRY to do that. It has you actually EMBODY that.

I have decided to open up ONE MORE spot for emotional coaching before the year ends. One more spot to engage, 1-on-1 with me, and dive in to how this work can impact you, help you create the life you want, and honor YOU in a way that has you FEEL GOOD and WHOLE and LOVED.

How do we do that?

Well, I won't give away all my secrets, but this retraining of discipline, is a big part of it. And we do this by connecting to the body. We do this by sensing into your body, and training it to feel good. Training you to LISTEN to your body. Training your system to feel safe, and strong, and powerful, and capable.

This isn't a mental game (because I know you already "know" these things, to some extent).
This is a physiological game. This is training your system to respond in a way that is cohesive, and effective. This is you working WITH your body, so we can activate its natural discipline (if you will) and let it live into its potential. This is about giving your body PERMISSION to be ITSELF, FULLY.

The results have been incredible.
Healed back pain.
New family dynamics.
Healed relationships.
More money.
Fulfilling careers.
Deep love.
Self-trust and power.
And so much more.

Questions? Hit reply to this email, and talk to me. I'm here for you.

Interested? Ready to try this thing out? Hit APPLY to fill out a brief application form, after which I will schedule a FREE call, for us to feel out how this would go. No pressure, no selling, just feeling.

Xo,

Jessie