Say what you will

Say what you will

To be full
Means to be with the consequences.

To be full
Means to handle the responses.

To be full
Means to honor and hold and alchemize and get off on and ride ALL that comes with this life.

I told you all that I would be more upfront with you.

Well here we go.

Launching with the hot controversial topic of the season,
Loaded with all the hate of a thousand liberals.

(Go watch my last video)

But truly,
I thank you.

A month ago, when I put my blood all over my body, and danced in the woods, I knew

It was an ode to my fullness.
It was a prayer to my being who I actually am.

And god damnnnn she has hidden for soooo long.

And do you know why she has hidden?
Because of this.
Because of fear of this.

She was hiding from this.
She was hiding from being hated.
She was hiding from being criticized, and told she was bad.
She was hiding from being misunderstood, and deleted.

But the thing is,
Underneath all of that,
What she couldn’t see,
Was that being FULL…

Being truly YOU,
Out in the world…

REQUIRES the full spectrum of responses too.
It’s like a prerequisite to being fully yourself: to be hated and judged.

It wouldn’t be full, if it didn’t have that.

A part of me thought I could skate by, never truly feeling this.
I could just “do it right”, and no one could say anything bad.

But there is NO WAY that is full.

And I know I’m just at the beginning, I can feel that for sure,
But I know that I’m here for it now.

Say what you will.

But when it comes down to it,
How do you feel inside yourself?
Do you love her fully?
Do you ride on the hate that you get?
Do you shake, and cry, and sing and dance, and FEEL, and OPEN to the magic of the world around you?

I have only just begun.
Here we go.

Originally written on August 25, 2021.