The fog lifted.
And just like that, the fog lifted.
I was low, sad, heavy.
And then I named it. I let my truth be held by myself in deep acceptance, and in this case - by others through my sharing.
By allowing what I was feeling to actually, fully, be OKAY, I increased safety in my experience. It made it so I wasn't under pressure to not be low. It made it so there was no threat around feeling down. It just was.
In our healing, and our growth, we tend to look over this part: the part where we actually have to FEEL safe. Whole. Good.
After my yoga class the other day someone asked me for advice. He was wanting to stretch more, but every time he does it's just so torturous that it makes him not want to do it. Classic example, right?
The answer is NOT to just discipline yourself to do it anyway. It isn't to "get over" the discomfort of the stretch. All that does is tell our system that our bodies are not to be trusted - they are to be ignored. AND, it puts our system in a state of threat. Threat that we won't get more flexible. Threat that we won't live up to what we said we would. Threat that we won't be good enough in some way.
And while that might not feel, or sound intellectually, like a threat the same way a life-threatening situation does, to our system, it IS. We can call it an ego threat, or a perceived threat, or whatever we want - but our nervous system responds as if it's threat. So we fight and push through. Or we avoid (flight). Or we shut down and get really lazy (freeze).
Instead, the answer is to do what actually feels good and safe and enjoyable. So, for my student, maybe that's the babiest stretch ever, and playing a really fun song. But only go as far as the body actually feels totally whole, and safe, and good.
This threat is everywhere. It's in the email your boss sent you about your performance. It's at the audition. It's in your partner's tone of voice when they say, "we need to talk." It's in the moment you share a creative project, awaiting your audience's response. It's in the first of the month when rent is due.
IT IS EVERYWHERE.
This subtle "threat" to our total OKness. To our ability to deeply trust ourselves that everything will be fine. To our capacity for rejection, disappointment, judgment, etc.
Now, not only do we lose out on some of the beauty and joy and love of life when we are living in these threat states, but we also make it pretty impossible to expand health-fully because we are on overdrive. So it ends up either not working, or rebounding back, or not fulfilling us.
But true expansion comes from SAFETY. From the connection to ourselves that feels WHOLE. GOOD.
So, yesterday, when I shared with myself, and my audience, that I'm feeling low - I allowed it to be safe to be sad. I released the threat of needing to feel "better", and I let it wash over me. And as soon as my system really registered that safety, I felt light.
Not to say there aren't still things to work through and heal - but, it all feels manageable now. It all feels OK. It all feels whole.
THIS IS THE WORK.
EMOTIONAL COACHING
My 1-on-1sessions are all about creating this sense of safety. We do it within our partnership, and we do it PHYSIOLOGICALLY in the body. When we actually feel safe in our bodies - when our bodies are a source of wholeness, and HOME - it comes with us wherever we go. We can find it when we need it. And, we can expand and expand this connection so that we can do more and be more of what we want (without threat).
This is an ongoing process, but let me tell you, every client has felt a HUGE shift, simply from the ability to connect to themselves in this way, among all the other work that we do.
I have four spots available, and I'd love for you to join.
This is for you if you...
feel sensitive, or emotional
have trouble listening to your intuition and trusting yourself
beat yourself up
deal with fear, self-doubt, insecurity, depression, anxiety
have goals or desires you want to fulfill on from a place of truth
simply love yourself and want to actually FEEL and EMBODY that love more fully
Find this safety and connection within yourself.
Apply here, or email me back with questions.
I love you.
Jessie