Online Course
An embodied journey of taking off engrained standards of perfection to reveal and claim your say as a woman
Stay tuned for next round
As women, we are praised for being “good”. For being pretty, quiet, agreeable, thin, gentle, calm, sweet, easy-going, peaceful, likable. We get a compliment when our make-up is done well, or when we accomplish a task with perfection. We’ve been repeatedly told that our looks are extremely important, often more so than our intelligence, or our impact, or our love. We’ve been repeatedly commended for not making waves - for being calm and quiet and not disturbing the peace. We’ve been repeatedly validated for having a man by our side, and belonging to someone or something else. We’ve been repeatedly honored for our ability to people-please: to do everything for everyone else, to endlessly show up for those we love, and to not need anything in return.
We hide how we actually feel, and “get over it” on our own.
We lie about the make-up and Spanx we wear, the botox and lip injections we get, and we perform this “perfect” version of us.
We show up for those we love again and again, but when asked about us, we say we’re “fine”.
Now, I’m not saying every single woman does these exact things all the time, because most of us have found way of living that works for us…but these are certainly the standards of womanhood.
It is seen as powerful to be a woman who can work a full time job, raise kids, care for everyone else, not sleep, workout everyday, and somehow manage.
It is seen as a given that a woman does extreme things to alter her physical looks, and acts like it’s easy or not harmful to her.
It is seen as proper or “good” to be calm and quiet about our true emotions, and cover it up with blame of self or others (either a “fuck him” or a “I’ll be better”).
Not only is this challenging, and an annoying mis-representation of the TRUTH of being a woman, but because of this, it is nearly impossible to truly listen to ourselves, without explicitly rewriting this narrative. And the thing is, this narrative is not just a verbal and mental conversation, it is literally PROGRAMMED into our bodies (yes, literally, into our nervous systems).
So, as much work as we’ve done in shifting our opportunities in the world, and speaking up, we still haven’t actually addressed the wounding within ourselves.
Not really.
Because this wounding is of the body.
It is how our system learned how to survive in the world. And because of that, it needs reworking. It needs addressing.
Breaking up with your inner good girl is about meeting the truth of what being a “good girl” means to you and how it registers in your body, and then actually shifting your body’s experience of yourself in order to own YOUR truth, distinct and separate from society’s.
This course is about letting go of the perpetual need to perform, please, and perfect, to reveal and embrace the you that is SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT. The you that is calling to come out. The you that KNOWS you have more to do and say, but is held back by this structure. The you that is WHOLE, SAFE, and fucking READY to lead the way.
For yourself, and for the world.
This is for you if….
you struggle with feeling not good enough in relationships, in career, in general
you have a hard time sharing/being creative unless it’s absolutely perfect
you get stuck in neurotic or compulsive tendencies like cleaning, picking your skin/nails/hair, controlling your eating, addictive behaviors, and more
you struggle with your body image, or the way you look has a big effect on how you feel about yourself in the world
you are overly obedient when there are rules or to-dos, OR you rebel against any form of regulation
you don’t feel satisfied until you get validation/approval/reassurance of some sort, and/or you actively resist it
you have a hard time speaking up in front of men or people you admire
you beat yourself up for not saying the right thing
you feel emotional but have a hard time communicating and processing it
you worry about how you come off to new friends, groups, relationships
you doubt yourself a lot
you do a LOT for everyone else, but have a hard time taking care of yourself in a meaningful way
you overbook yourself, or find it difficult to say “no”
you struggle with creating boundaries, or sticking to them
you are constantly pushing yourself to be better
you have a high standard for yourself to live up to
you already know how to take responsibility for yourself, but still feel a little powerless at times
The Details:
What:
Online course
A 90-minute live call every Wednesday, follow-up group coaching, audio practices
*if you cannot make the calls live, a replay will be available
when:
September 16 - October 18, 2020
Course Material: Wednesdays 12 pm - 1:30 pm PST
Group coaching: Sundays 4-5 pm PST
where:
Virtual via Zoom
Who:
Women-identifying
why:
To release the need to cling to being perfect, being “good”, being right, being liked…so you can be the YOU that is TRUE.
how much:
$219.99
(Only $189.99 if you sign up before September 1!)
What will we cover?
Each call will be a combination of discussion and embodiment practices designed to free yourself from the reigns of your version of being a “good girl”.
Together, we will unravel:
perfectionism
fear of not looking good or not being liked
fear of not being good enough
the need to do it “right”
being seen as good or agreeable
people pleasing and appeasement
being liked, getting attention, or getting validation from men or sex
saying “no”, and the confusion around healthy boundaries
the need to always “be better”
neurotic/controlling tendencies
emotional intensity/overwhelm
difficulty speaking up
and much more!
As women, we are expected to have this perfect balance of sexy, but not too sexy, skinny but not too skinny, emotional and empathetic but not too emotional, powerful and clear but not demanding, strong but not too strong…and the list goes on. We are expected to be not too much, not too little, but JUST RIGHT. ALL THE TIME.
The truth is, this not only isn’t possible, it also isn’t REAL for us.
This course is simply about feeling into the world of your true humanity, and honoring that realness. This course is an EXPERIENCE of embodying yourself as whole and honest, “imperfections” and all.
How does it work?
Breaking up with your inner good girl, really means dismantling the white patriarchal views that live in YOUR system. We are told all our lives to be a certain way in order to be acceptable women, whether that’s blatantly stated or not. So breaking up with this part of us that feels the need to LIVE UP to this standard, is about seeing and feeling how it affects us, in what ways we can dismantle it, and then how we can truly hear our own voice in the midst of all the mixed messaging and external rules.
This course is an embodiment course. Meaning, we are not looking to learn a new method of how we can perfect ourselves. In fact, most - if not all - self-development practices are about learning a technique and getting better at it. And a big part of what we are doing here is DISMANTLING ALL OF THAT.
This is not another course for you to learn how to get GOOD at something. This is for you to un-work the need to be GOOD at it, so you can be TRUE at it.
So beyond breaking up with the “good girl” in you, we are really connecting with what’s real in you. What that looks like, and what that feels like viscerally.
This course is teaching and practicing how to truly listen to yourself, in a world that tells you to ignore it and be presentable.
Here’s the curriculum.
What’s Included:
Join me each week for discussion, exercises, and embodiment practices that we do together.
Our calls will take place Wednesdays 12-1:30 pm PST. If you can’t make it live, a recording will be available later that day.
Each week you will receive guided recordings for you to continue to practice on your own (and forever and ever!).
In addition, the work we discuss will be directly applicable to your daily life, so there will be consistent integration opportunities.
Each week, you will have an opportunity to process the course material in a group setting. You can ask questions, share your experiences, and get support and guidance.
These sessions will take place Sundays 4-5 pm PST.
What people are saying…
“This course helped me explore and express my authentic boundaries. Jessie teaches you strategies and techniques to sense into your body and listen to what it really needs and wants to feel safe and whole. The course provides resources that you can return to at any time for practice, or for assistance, in connecting to your body and the safety within.”
“Jessie’s course led me down a gentle path of expansion surrounding my capacity to be in my body, set boundaries, and release self-imposed expectations related to societal and familial structures of what defines a “good” or “successful” woman. The group dynamic provided a safe space to connect and relate on the days when the spotlight felt too hot for me. It let me see that my pain was shared and allowed me to be open, honest, and vulnerable. As a Recovering Type A, shame-train rider, I gained so much compassion and love for myself, my feminine power, my sexuality, and my creative voice through working with Jessie. I encourage you to treat yourself to the same gifts! ”
Who am I?
I’m Jessie.
As an emotional coach, it’s my job to assess how a person’s emotions affect them, and live in their body. After facilitating over 100 private sessions in the last year, I have encountered a handful of patterns that many clients bump up against.
The thing is, as much as we are powerful humans, and we can choose our beliefs and our reality to some extent, our body is designed and structured based off of the external environment (and our perception of that) in many ways. Meaning, we often know in our MINDS what we could do to “be better” or feel better, but we often can’t get our bodies and our hearts fully on board. So we live in conflict.
This is because we are trying to OVERRIDE our body, instead of listening to it. And when we listen, we find that the body is holding a lot of personal wounds, in addition to collective ones. These wounds are healable, but until they are addressed, they are NOT WITHIN OUR CONTROL.
A big part of this course, for me, is releasing the need to feel like you are responsible for every single thing in your life. That you can always be better and do better. Because, while that’s true, you also don’t have full control, and understanding and working with the reality of what it is to be a human and a woman in our society is NECESSARY for true healing, and power.
I grew up as a competitive gymnast for 10 years, and have ALWAYS been a goodie goodie. Doing things “wrong” has been my ultimate kryptonite for most of my life. It is when I cannot handle it. It is when I hate myself. It is when I break down.
I’m here because of how personal this issue is to me. And I’m here because of how ESSENTIAL I believe it is for all of us.
I hope you’ll join me on this journey. Whether you’re a goodie goodie like me, or whether you rebel against structure, your body is in this system, and we can recreate it bit by bit, together.
Xo,
Jessie
