Speaking Your Truth as a Woman
Lovely humans,
As much as I'd like to say women have made it: we can achieve great heights, we can make big money, we can sleep with who we want, we can be who we want...
It's not all the way true.
And I'm not talking politics.
I'm talking nervous systems.
Our bodies are still programmed based on an old story that women are in danger. I mean, let's be real - women still ARE in danger in SO MANY instances.
So, while our will power, determination, and social/political improvements DO make it more accessible for us to speak up, and be true (and that's HUGE)...our bodies don't quite know that yet.
Ladies,
Have you ever been in a group of women gossiping, or self-depricating, and felt like you couldn't speak up because they might judge you?
Have you ever been on a date with a man who kisses you, and even though you're thinking "ummm..not sure about this," you do it anyway?
Have you ever been getting a massage, or maybe at a doctors appointment, and felt like you couldn't ask the questions you really wanted to ask?
Have you ever been asked to do something for someone and just knew you didn't want to or wouldn't have the energy, but felt stuck in saying yes?
I could go on. But I think you get the picture.
These are not coincidences.
These are not circumstances that we need to put up with, nor are they circumstances we need to simply push ourselves to be better at.
These little silences are wired in to our bodies.
And there is a good reason why it is challenging to speak up in moments like this (whether it's something silly and insignificant, or big and important).
As a super generic explanation, our nervous system is designed to keep us safe, right? So when it senses danger (which is often unconscious to us) it kicks into one or more of the threat responses: fight, flight, and freeze. Now, danger can be literal physical danger, OR it can be a threat to our general safety like someone judging you. YES. Your nervous system feels judgment as a true safety issue - particularly for women. (More on this in my FREE class - see below!)
For many animals, if fight or flight doesn't work and they are still in danger, the animal will resort to freeze, which is like a total shut down. This way, the animal doesn't have to feel pain, and it can sort of numb to the experience, whatever that experience is.
We do that too.
If in our past we learned that we can't run, and we can't fight (or either of those doesn't really keep us safe), we shut down. This shut down might feel like a variety of things: sleepiness, brain fog, fatigue, numbness, etc.
So, although it doesn't always feel like a big deal when we "forgot" to ask that really important question to our doctor because they were rushing us, that is a part of THIS experience.
And it's important that we speak up for our bodies, to someone that is supposed to be helping us.
And it's important that we stop overbooking ourselves for other people, so that we have energy for our own healing and desires.
And it's important that we understand, viscerally, that we don't have to kiss someone we feel kinda "meh" about simply because they wanted to.
And it's important we communicate to our communities what matters to us, and don't hide in the fear of judgment.
See, when we hide in our shut downs, we give our bodies and our experiences over to others.
We say to others - you decide for me.
And then we are stuck. We are stuck not having a say for OUR body, OUR relationship, OUR job, OUR life.
It might be tempting to brush it aside and say whatever. I'm okay doing things for other people, I like doing it.
But if you don't feel like you are truly living in your purpose and your truth, this is a part of that.
Or it might be tempting to say YES we need to speak up, and to push ourselves to "get over" the fear.
But as much as we do this in our minds, we MUST do this in our bodies.
This is why I'm hosting a FREE ONLINE CLASS this Friday at 11 am PST, called 'Speaking Your Truth as a Woman.'
Sign up by clicking above, and I will send you the link to view the class. If you can't make it live, a recording will be sent to your email afterwards.
In this class, we will...
break down WHY it can be difficult to speak up as a woman, and where that comes from
understand the basics of the nervous system and trauma in the body
do embodiment practices to start to shift your experience in your body/nervous system
give you tools you can apply to your daily life to cultivate the expansion of your voice in spaces that matter to you
I hear again and again that after doing this work, people just start to feel easier. They don't have to THINK about pushing themselves to speak up - they are just in their bodies, and their true voice is seamless in its communication.
This isn't always easy work, but it is so simple, and transformative.
I hope you'll join me.
Love you.
Xo,
Jessie